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On Usefulness
}} The Azurites try to hold off Redcloak at the junk long enough for Haley and Belkar to return. While they don't arrive yet, they do find a lost party member. Cast * The Order of the Stick ** Roy Greenhilt (as a corpse) ◀ ▶ ** Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ ** Elan ◀ ▶ ** Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶ ** Durkon Thundershield ◀ ▶ ** Vaarsuvius ◀ ▶ * Redcloak ◀ ▶ * Hinjo ◀ ▶ * Lien ◀ ▶ * Daigo Da- ◀ ▶ * Kazumi Kato ◀ ▶ * Captain Axe ◀ ▶ * Fiendish Octopus ▶ * Many Hobgoblins Transcript Haley and Belkar carry Roy's body across the plain. Haley: Come on, we need to get back to the tower and through that tunnel. We need to get to the dock without fighting our way through the entire army. Belkar: Hopefully, the—ah, crap! CRAP! Haley: What? What is it? Belkar: I just had the urge to say, “Hopefully, the others will have had an easier time than we have!” Haley: Damn it! You know what that means, right? Belkar: Yeah, that they’re almost certainly in deep sh— Cut to the waterfront where a fiendish octopus has its tentacles all over Hinjo's junk. Captain Axe: Sir, that fiendish octopus can crack this boat like a fortune cookie! We must leave while we can! Hinjo: Leave the octopus to us. We’re not leaving just yet. Hinjo: Besides, if we kill that goblin cleric now, it’ll be easier to retake the city later. Captain Axe: But— Hinjo: Durkon, Lien, come with me! Elan: Oh, so you’re gonna hurt innocent civilians? Elan: I guess it’s time I gave you a little squid'pro quo! ''Elan's pun has no effect on the octopus, "bink!" He is hit by the tentacle, "WHUMPH!" '''Elan: Oooof! Hinjo: Elan, I don’t think it can hear your puns. Elan: Are you sure? ‘Cuz Belkar has pretty much the exact same reaction whenever he '''hears one of them. '''Durkon: We’ll handle tha gobbo an’ ‘is calamari, lad. Help Kazumi an’ Daigo hold off tha boarders. Elan: Aye, aye, skipper. Elan runs past a crowd of anonymous refugees. Elan: Now I just need to figure out who “Kazumi” and “Daigo” are… Elan: Excuse me, huddled masses! Pardon me! He passes a red cloak amidst the huddled masses. Elan: PC coming through! PC coming— He stops. Elan: Vaarsuvius?? Is that you? Vaarsuvius: Um… hello, Elan. Vaarsuvius: I assure you there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for why I am attempting to hide among these fugitives. Elan: Wow! You REALLY are the smartest! Vaarsuvius: … Vaarsuvius: I beg your pardon? Elan: You’re so unbelievably smart that you figured out how we were gonna escape the city, and you beat us here! Elan: You’re like a super prophet person! Did you learn how to be a future psychic from Roy? Vaarsuvius: It would be soothing to assert that your innocent take on the situation is, in fact, true. But I am afraid it is not that simple. Vaarsuvius: Or rather, it is even simpler: I used my last spell, Invisibility, to flee the battle and sneak aboard the last ship in the port. Vaarsuvius: I did not know that you or the others would also choose this means of escape when I did so, however. Elan: Oh. Well, that’s OK, you’re here now. Come help us fight! Vaarsuvius: Did you not listen? My LAST spell! I have no magic left with which to fight! My supposed “ultimate arcane power” has vacated my body, leaving me as powerless as these evacuees! Elan: Oh, V, now you’re just being silly! If I let myself get hung up on only doing things that had any actual chance of success, I’d never do anything! Elan: I mean, I cast a spell today, and it WORKED! And we all know how much my illusions suck! Vaarsuvius: A spell? Elan: Yeah, it was when we— Vaarsuvius: You cast a singular spell today? Elan: Yeah, but— Vaarsuvius stands by Elan at the gangplank. An illusory Celestial lion guards the way from several fearful hobgoblins. Vaarsuvius: —and by crafting an illusion that appears to be a Celestial creature, you create within your opponents the believe that you have summoned it from beyond, thus explaining it’s sudden appearance on the battlefield— Vaarsuvius: —which is further reinforced by the presence of an existing summoned creature, i.e. the octopus. Elan: Neat! I never thought of that! Vaarsuvius: Now have the “lion” slowly advance, giving the hobgoblins plenty of time to retreat in the face of this new “threat”… D&D Context * Elan is likely casting Silent Image, a 1st level spell, or perhaps Major Image, a 3rd level spell if there is an auditory component. Trivia * Vaarsuvius rejoins the Order in this strip, after a period apart and some prodding from Elan. * Chronologically, Vaarsuvius' previous appearance is in the flashback of Comic #623, "Running Away". By publication date V's previous appearance is Comic #452, "Change of Direction". * This is the first appearance of the Fiendish Octopus. Trivia * The title considers the usefulness of a spellcaster when they have cast their last spell. Elan teaches Vaarsuvius the usefulness of uselessness. * Elan decided Roy was a future psychic in #185, The Time Killers. External Links * 478}} View the comic * 52043}} View the discussion thread Category:Uses Major Image Category:The Order is Split Category:Uses Summon Monster Category:Uses Summon Monster VII Category:Uses Pun Attack